The story I stick to is that I almost drowned as a child. Truth is, I have only vague memories of such an incident. Something involving blue skies, a burning sensation in my lungs and the sound of water rushing around is as vivid as it gets. I could have been paddling in a backyard kiddie pool and slipped face first based on that memory. Or I could have made that memory up, I was a very imaginative child. Needless to say, I stayed away from pools for most of my life.
Now I'm on my fifth swimming lesson and with the help of goggles, a great instructor and the fact that I stand with my head above water, there isn't a lot to fear. It's been really fun and quite exhilarating. All great except for last week's mini panic attack when the instructor asked me to flip onto my back. "
What?" I yelped.
For so long I thought my fear was about the water and drowning, but in actuality I just fear letting go. So much of my life is about controlling the elements around me, so relaxing and letting the forces of air and water take over is new. And scary. But no worries, I'm still paddling along to my next lesson.
