Sort of.
Our family hasn't done Christmas together in years. Mom scoffed at the idea of decorations and a proper Christmas meal, but we at least got to exchange presents. And because I knew she would be in good spirits, I brought home champagne and beer! That's right. Even though alcohol is only for hookers and the devil, I too was able to bring it into the house. I also brought board games and holidays movies for entertainment. If it weren't for those things, we would've been twiddling our thumbs and taking more naps to pass the time. We were already at two naps per day...
'Tis the season for story time:
mom: Lan and Kathy sleep here wit Buddha shrine. You sleep wit mommy. Bac Loc sleep in small room.
me: What? Why can't I have the small room?
mom: No heat honey. Only in mommy room.You sleep wit me.
[Lugging duffel up the stairs]
me: How do you not have an extra space heater? You had three last year! And you snore too. There's no way I can sleep with you, mommy.
[From the top of the stairs]
mom's boyfriend: Hehehe, SHE GOT YOU dis time. You have to sleep wit mommy.
me: Huh? What's with sleeping with the kids? I'm in my 30s!! Bah, I'll just bundle up in the other room. I can't sleep with mom...she snores...a lot.
[Me: sitting in the other room, pondering layering options]
[Bedroom door opens]
mom's boyfriend: OKAY. Mom say you princess. We open up other heater for you.
me: What?? You said there wasn't another heater! And...I am not a princess!
***[Sis and I are watching "Love Actually" and drinking beers. Mom walks in:]
mom: OH MY GAD!! You sit wit beer just like that. You tink it OKAYYY?!! You like girl who walk street. Only hooker sit wit beers. Don't let boy see you loose. Dis why tey no marry you!
***mom: Pretty watch, it new honey? How much dis watch?
me: Yea, it's new. Why do you always ask for the price? It wasn't too expensive...average I guess for a watch of this quality.
mom: Mmmm, mommy like it. Look nice on you.
me: Oh, um do you want one? I can get you the same watch though the face may be too big for your wrist...
mom: ...no, no honey. Mommy have many. Four or five. Have one waterproof, go to 60 meters in watah!! 60 meter! Good for when mommy wash dish.
me: =|
***sister: You know honey, our family is cursed.
me: OMG. Our family is not cursed unless you call bad parenting a curse.
sister: NOOOOOOoooo... It happened before grandpa time. I heard story when I was little. A family neighbor said it, said it was true.
me: Seriously Lan, now you sound as crazy as mom! We are not cursed. Not cursed. Repeat. After. Me.
sister: Look at mommy brother and sisters. All divorced except for youngest Auntie. Look at our cousins, Chi Mi Yung, Anh Son, Anh Hung...51...all single still and...
me: ...wait, Anh Hung is weird. I'm not surprised he's single. That makes total sense, it's NOT a curse.
sister: No, there's Michelle and Anh Hue, never thought he would get divorced. They never even fought! And me, I'm divorced too.
[pause]
sister: And look at you, honey, you're almost 35yr old. You still single and maybe no husband ever...
me: Awesome.
